every time i watch clueless i’m shocked that cher horowitz wasn’t intentionally written as a closeted lesbian struggling with compulsory heterosexuality because that’s literally the only interpretation of that movie that makes any sense to me whatsoever
listen…. cher expresses explicit distaste for boys her age on more than one occasion. she compares them to dogs and wonders why her best friend dee even bothers with them.
she claims to be “highly selective” ….name one closeted lesbian who hasn’t used high standards as an excuse for why they don’t seek a boyfriend, i’ll wait.
not to mention that she’s “saving herself for luke perry” ….me when i would focus my attention on unattainable men because i didn’t like any boys in real life.
let’s not forget that cher is disgusted by her friend elton’s advances and the only boy she actively pursues before realizing she was “in love” with josh was her gay friend christian. subconsciously pursuing unattainable men much?
initially, cher’s ego is hurt by christian’s rejection, but she gets over it quickly because she only pursued christian for superficial reasons and not because of any actual feelings of attraction.
so why did cher end up with josh, you might ask? my theory: cher developed feelings for her (*cough* bisexual) friend tai over the course of the film, but failed to recognize them. when tai shows interest in dating josh, cher becomes jealous, and mistakenly assumes it’s because she’s in love with josh, but she’s actually in love with tai!
honestly, just watch this movie again and compare the way cher talks about tai to the way she talks about josh. cher showed literally NO romantic interest in josh before she realized she was “in love” with him, and only started acting like she had feelings for him after she came to that conclusion.
the first time i watched clueless, i remember little 12-year-old me literally saying “WHAT!?” out loud to my tv screen when cher said she was in love with her fucking stepbrother, of all people. i didn’t know i was a lesbian back then, but i knew a forced hetero romance that made no sense when i saw one!
so ladies, never forget what the endgame for this movie should have been.
nail polish is goblincore bc you can make your fingernails colorful and sparkly and also you can hoard the bottles which are colorful and make good clacking sounds
I think one of my absolute favourite things about TAZ is that Griffin got to write a campaign in which the three free agents, the three moving parts that he relied on to make his story work, were the three people he knows best in the whole universe. People talk about Griffin’s story being ‘on rails’ but it’s not. It’s just that – unlike most DMs – Griffin can predict his family’s behaviour in advance in a way most people couldn’t hope to do. If he were playing with a different group, the story never would have turned out the way it did, but because he knows his family, he could fairly accurately predict the big decisions.
He writes a voidfish into the story, because he knows his brother is kind to animals, knows he’d never leave a sentient baby jellyfish on a planet about to get eaten, not even narratively. He’s not writing Travis into a corner, Travis would never consider doing anything else. He writes Taako a sister – a best friend, a twin, a soul mate – because he knows that Justin is a big brother to his very core, knows that his instincts will always fall in line with sibling loyalty and devotion, even when he’s playing an aloof elf who doesn’t care about anyone. He writes his dad into the trickiest position of them all – facing true horror, sitting across the table from the end of the world – and he knows that his father will respond with compromise and understanding, with love and joy and compassion, because he’s seen that grace in his father his whole life. Griffin was betting on those qualities that he already knew his family possessed, and it was the safest bet he ever made! Because they were amazing, and he always knew they would be.
so today I learned that in the french version of I Dreamed a Dream, instead of “and still I dream he’ll come to me and we will live the years together,” it says something closer to “sometimes I dream of him still and he begs me and he regrets” which let me tell you I like so much better.
failed2be-chill 