Constantly torn between “if I show symptoms I’m real and valid” and “I can’t show any symptoms because then I’ll be a bother so I have to internalize everything.”
Dont forget “if I can control my symptoms are they still valid”
And “if I show symptoms I’m manipulating the people around me”
Also “if I don’t show symptoms at any given moment I’m lying about having a mental illness and everything is an overreaction”
Tag: mental illness
that Relatable™
mental illness feel when you can’t tell if your workload is unreasonable or if you’d actuallly be able to handle this if you had a functioning fucking brain
and it doesn’t look like i will ever find out. CONUNDRUM
me: *encounters something slightly difficult*
brain: you have to cry
me: why
brain: you gotta
“i’m in kind of a weird mental place right now” i say, as if there are times when i am not in a weird mental place
how to have soft hair: so you know the part of the shower you spend staring into the indeterminable void, so far gone into nothingness that you almost expect it to reply, fully aware of the improbability of our continued existence, dazzled and terrified by the otherworldly creatures moving in a pane beyond ours, wondering if you’re imagining the black claws closing in around you? you put the conditioner in your hair before that
do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off at even little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking
I think it’s called sensory overload. It’s really common in people with anxiety
it can also be a result of sleep deprivation, stress, or ever dehydration !!
thanks i thought i was just a bitch
sometimes i am so overwhelmingly sad about every single thing i’ve ever been sad about and i think the sadness will kill me
If you struggle with anxiety, overwhelm, or just plain feeling like a failure, I have a mantra for you that’s been really helping me out lately:
Just show up.
I used to skip class because the whole thing was so overwhelming: I had to get dressed in something clean even though I never had the energy to do laundry, walk to school, sit in class for up to three hours, plus pay attention, take notes, and participate in discussion. In reality, I was being a perfectionist, and life would have been a lot easier for me if I had Just Shown Up. By staying home because of my depression and anxiety, I wasn’t giving myself the chance to do any of that. I was such a perfectionist that being a “bad” or average student was unthinkable, so I stopped being a student at all.
If you’re having trouble getting something done, Just Show Up. You don’t have to be employee of the month. You don’t have to be valedictorian. Just Show Up.
ime it also helps to be like “you dont have to stay the whole time, you just have to go” bc most of the time once youre there it’s fine. a lot of things are like that, like… you dont have to finish the dishes, just start them. a lot of the time once you start a task it’s easier to finish than to stop, especially if you can trick yourself like “after five more minutes if i still feel bad i’ll go home” or “after washing two more dishes i can stop for today”
even if you don’t finish the task, you started it, and by completing part of it you lessened your future workload and ALSO taught your brain that things may not be as daunting as they seem
This is wisdom! Peace!
you know what years of therapy taught me – Redefine success
so what if no one else gets how the things you define as successes are victories because you have to
so you got to work – success
you used public transport – success
you went to the supermarket instead of ordering online and didn’t just buy things you dind’t want because you got scared – MASSIVE success
Redefine success, your body moved the goal posts, there is no shame in acknwoledging that
me at any point of any day: i feel weird
failed2be-chill 